Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Fye to alle malcontentys!

Heere begynnyth myn apologia pro sua absentia
Ich haue bene of laat - for resouns to me unknowe - afflyctyd by a ryght stronge malencolie. For weekys oon end ich haue ystaryd atte me wallys foure. Hyt is not a lyght matere, deere frendys, to ben putten out of onys ryght mynde and not ben in a posycyoun to answere the doore (many thankys for the pizza and peintures-moevynge on .d.v.d., Lytel Louis). But hyt is not the ende to myn troubles.

Som wikkede traytoures han yspred the rumoure that ich han ben on sum voyage to partes exotyke and enjoyyd mynselue there in maneres uncouthe. These evyl malcontentys han ymakyd and ypublishyd a false ymage to tarnysshen myn good naam. Seeth for youreseluen, gentyle redere:

Hyt is wykkede and a blowe to myn reputacion (Occleve, remoue thys nyce smyle from youre face).

Fama, fama,
why beeth thou so fickle?


Perta said...

Maister Hoccleve leef and dere, Tis mega grete hap to me that onlie this verie nyghte have y dyscovred thy veray blogspotte. Tis truelie a moste joieouse blogge. You chere min owene blues before bedde this nyghte. Gower he is an octosyllabic wretche and Gower Strete in the citie of Londone hath bad traffic at alle tymes. The worde verificatioune here is okaie enoghe, but min owene blogger display name is muchel skorte. Take gude hede that it ys Perta LOT, not onlie Perta and it nedethe me muche technologicalle helpe to trye and chaunge it.

Thomas Hoccleve said...

To Perta Lot be this lettir delyveryd in haste.

A ryght surprise beeth yowre epistle and a grete plesure. Ich am perturbyd to here that sum turdeshedes han ynamyd a strete in Londoun in honoure of that bilemonger Gowere. My dere Perta Lotte, rest assuryd, for hyt moste be sum temporarye delusioun, perchaunce devysyd by Litel Lowy (it oughte for to be Lowere strete, mesemyth). Go to bedde, awake to-morrow, rubbe your yen, and see for yourselue - the nyghtmare wyl yvanisshed be!

Wretyn at Westmynstre on the eleventhe daye of Septembre. By yowre humble servaunt Thomas Hoccleve.

Pertalot said...

Welle, Maister Hoccleve, we are atte one on this matere. Nowe, canst thou helpe advise on whether we should playe Heskey (if his foote hath heled) or Rooney in Octobre? Methinks bothe, that is to saye, Rooney behinde. But perchance the Englishe game giveth thee litel delite. Didst thou mak an proposal for Kzoo (this uncouthe worde doth mak my braine ache)?